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Keeping Your Emotions in Check

We tend to view emotions negatively, especially when discussing business decisions. People who show emotions are seen as soft, volatile, or unprofessional. Those who appear stoic are often seen as strong leaders.

Ironically, we view emotions this way even though every decision, whether personal or professional, is tied to our emotions. Even when we think we’re acting logically.

Watch the video here:

Think about the last change you experienced. I’m sure there was an emotional element to it. When leaders recognize this and can help themselves and their team navigate the emotions of change, they have a strong advantage in enabling change.

Unfortunately, we, and most C-suite leaders, have been conditioned to remove emotion from our situations. This leaves us ignoring what could be a helpful, intuitive tool.

Working With Emotions Instead of Against Them

Our change initiatives end up negatively impacted when we fail to acknowledge and work with our emotions during change.

To start working with your emotions and using them to propel your change forward, take these three steps.

  1. First, recognize that every response and every decision is so intertwined with our emotions that we often don’t even notice our emotional reactions in what appears to be a logical response.
  2. Develop a vocabulary for labelling and naming emotions. This is not the same as venting. It does not give you or your team carte blanche to engage in disrespectful or inappropriate behaviour in the name of naming emotions.
  3. Create a safe space for your team to express their emotions. This will help them feel heard and understood, fostering a sense of connection and trust within the team.

In her book “How Emotions Are Made,” Lisa Feldman informs us that we are incapable of making any decision without emotion. The way your body feels now will influence how you feel, think, and act in the future.

When I work with my private clients and they make this breakthrough, it’s a game-changer for them. Conversations start to shift from being emotional OR rational to emotions ARE rational.

For example, let’s say you announce a big change—something potentially contentious, such as a return-to-office mandate. At the announcement, which I hope didn’t happen over email, your top employee is scowling, and you also notice many distracted faces and some typing (if this announcement is happening on Zoom).

Even before you are consciously aware of what’s happening, your brain assesses, interprets, and decides how to react. You then react without acknowledging your own emotion or checking to make sure your unconscious assessment that your employee was scowling in reaction to what you were saying was correct.

This sequence of events happens so quickly that it appears rational. So you look for evidence to support the “rational” appearance, and you create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your emotional reaction is disguised as rational.

Human emotions are not preprogrammed areas of the brain that are triggered by an event. They are body sensations, designed to signal us to pay attention because something important or different is happening.

When you can recognize the small, subtle shifts in yourself and bring them to your conscious awareness, you can interact rather than react. For example, instead of reacting to your employee based on your assumption, you approach your employee privately after the meeting and say something like: “It looked like you were upset while I was making the announcement. Did I interpret that correctly?”

Ignore Emotions at Your Peril

By accepting and acknowledging that emotions are an integral part of our human experience, labelling and naming emotions, and creating a safe space for your team to express their emotions, you can navigate the emotional landscape of change.

And when you do, you can develop an organization with people who:

  • don’t fear or “resist” change,
  • move more quickly toward something new, and
  • help the organization use change to its advantage.

If you’re ready to harness the power of emotions to drive meaningful change, book a call with me today.

Change cynical to change ready with Dr. Turner Smiling

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